Can't find the advice you're looking for?
The Solutions to Life's 10 Biggest Problems!
Every day clients tell me about their
problems, often in great detail, and I've noticed patterns that show up over and
over. For many people, life’s problems are viewed as "not enough money" or "not
enough time". For couples, the problems are often around "communication" or
"parenting" or sex. They think if they only had more money or more time or
better sex or a better job, things would be wonderful.
But it doesn’t work that way, because these things are not the BIG PROBLEM. From
my experience, I suggest life's really big problems are:
1. Tunnel Vision. The tendency to focus only on the immediate crisis or sore
spot. Under stress, things look worse or more complex than they really are. The
solution: Perspective. Ask if it will matter in 6 months. Ask what else is going
on? How did I create this situation and, in an ideal world, what would I like to
do about it?
2. Fear. The anxiety or terror that things will go badly, that we will fail or
be embarrassed. The solution: Humor and Curiosity. Modern life has very few
saber-tooth tigers. The situation is rarely life or death. Ask, What's the worst
that can happen? What's the best? What can I learn? What would I do if I had no
fear?
3. Confusion. The sense of being lost or unclear about our direction. The sense
that we don't know our own priorities anymore. The solution: Responsible
Choices. Choose your values and priorities and set your own path. Your life is
yours. Check your moral compass, pick a direction and do something
extraordinary!
4. Guilt. The belief that we have hurt or failed or sinned and deserve
punishment. Guilt is either accurate, because sometimes we do behave badly, or
it is false and simply an illusion. The solution: If we have transgressed, we
must make restitution, ask forgiveness, learn from our error and move on. If it
is false guilt, set it down as an unnecessary and irrational burden.
5. Shame. The belief that we are worth less than others, that we have a
terrible, incurable flaw. It is not that we have done something wrong (guilt),
but that we are bad or wrong. The solution: Clear, rational thinking. Everyone
has behaved badly, but no one was created badly! Any flaws only serve to make
you stronger, more heroic or more compassionate toward others.
6. Loneliness. The belief that no one loves us, that no one cares and we must
desperately cling to anyone who finds us attractive or acceptable. This creates
dependency, not intimacy. The solution: Accurate Self-Assessment. Not everyone
will love you, but many people will if they meet you, get to know you, and spend
time working/playing along side you.
7. Resentment. Holding anger and refusing to move beyond real or imagined
mistreatment in the past. Some people spend their whole lives as "victims",
nurturing a terrible event in their past. The solution: Let go! Life is not fair
and people do not always behave well or kindly. Use your trauma to make you
wise, kind, gentle, and strong. Holding anger will not work.
8. Self-Doubt. The repeated, endless questioning of your own abilities, opinions
or actions. The inability to take a stand, to act boldly, or to follow-through.
The solution: Action! Think clearly, then take action and follow -through. Start
small, but do it! You are the world's expert on your life! Use your wisdom to
live well.
9. Stubbornness. The refusal or inability to re-assess a situation, change your
mind, or admit you were wrong. The solution: Wisdom and Humility. Only a fool
stays on a course that is headed for disaster! Search for new and better
information, remain flexible, open and creative. When the situation changes,
adjust accordingly and set a new course.
10. Addiction. Humans become addicted to drugs, but we also become addicted to
our jobs, our opinions or our lifestyle. We can be addicted to people and need
them rather than love them. The solution: Take a vacation! Periodically, walk in
someone else's shoes. Break your habits, re-arrange your schedule, delegate
those things that only you can do "right". Use habits and traditions to set you
free, don't let habits enslave
you!
"Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools
and resources for your success, including a great newsletter! It's all on his
website at: http://www.philiphumbert.com "
Browse through these tips and advice from the experts
Top 10 Steps to Set and Achieve Your Goals
Top 10 Ways to Coach Yourself to Total Success!
The Solutions to Life's 10 Biggest Problems!
Top 10 BEST Things About Having a Personal Coach
Top 10 Secrets to Achieving Any Goal
10 Tools for Building a Strong Personal Foundation
10 Ways to Create and Manage Opportunity
Top 10 Tools for Effective Listening
Top 10 Tools to Reach Your Goals Quickly
Top 10 Tips to Make 2009 The Best Year of Your Life!
Top 10 Miraculous Benefits of Writing a Personal Journal!
My Top 10 Quotes for Living Well!
Top 10 Ways to Reduce Violence
Top 10 Items For Your 21st Century Toolbox!
Top 10 Traits of Highly Successful People - That You Can Learn!
The Top 10 Life Lessons from Golf!
Top 10 Business Strategies Of Successful Professionals
The Top 10 Questions to Ask Of Your Goals
Top 10 Secrets to Being HAPPY!
Top 10 Things That Make Life Worthwhile
4 Steps To Having the Life You REALLY Want!
4 Key Traits of Super-Successful People!
Super Achievers have talent, skill and patience!
5 Days to A Simpler Life!
Top 5 Areas to Create A Super-Reserve!
12 Things That Make Life Worthwhile!
Are You Having Sleepless Nights Because Of Your Finances?
Finance And Lifestyle - Are They Interlinked?
Is it Time to Put Yourself on a TV Diet? TV is harmless entertainment. Or is it?
What Are You Thankful For?
Tips on How to Be Happy. What is happiness?
How to Be Happy in Life - The 9 Paths to Happiness
20 Simple Ways to Enjoy Life. Want to live a happy life?
Top 10 Best Ways to Spoil or Treat Yourself
Discovering Happiness - Learning How to Make Yourself Happy
Four Ways Inspirational Quotes Can Change Your Life
Always Believe
Three Golden Principles to Discover the Right Path
The Wealthiest People in the World Know Who They Are
What is Inspiration and Where to Find It
Self-Improvement - Three Things We Can Promote Which Would Improve the World
President Obama and the Evolution of Consciousness
